Monday, July 21, 2014

The Naughty List: Little Uglies Found 'Round the Web

When it comes to blogging, you spend lots of time online. Looking at wonderful things. But as we all know, in a barrel of beautiful apples, there's bound to be at least one worm-ridden bobber in the batch. Join me in getting elbow deep in snobbery! Here are my web worms of the day! 




This particular e-retailer has an entire pillow section named "Flounce and Bloom" dedicated 
to these flammable beauties. It's the pillow equivalent of the poly-silk scrunchie. 
A failed attempt for fancy.

An uncanny resemblance. 

There is a peacock who has been shamed from his flock for contributing to this train wreck. 

If Captain Hook was on Cribs, this would be in his pad. 
Sail away in your crystal dreams. 

Let me just say, I could do I whole trend report on ornamental frog garden sculptures. I decided to highlight two of my favorites: the amphibian golfers and the Zen Fountain Frogs. 

This description kills me: "Featuring a pair of meditative amphibians, our tranquil Zen Frog Fountain brings a whimsical yet serene ambiance to your lawn or garden. This cast-stone fountain is a substantial work of art that's the result of the combined efforts of sculptors, mold-makers and other artisans who create each piece via a labor-intensive 15-step process." Indeed, Budda would be proud.

If you weren't born into royalty and are struggling with an inferiority complex, I suggest snuggling up in a life-sized crown. In the words of the ultimate King, "Have it your way." The smallest pillow on this down-filled dream maker will set you back $300 bones. And for the whole shebang, you're looking at $4,800-- that's just for the bedding. 

 This is for the Royal Inferiority Complex Sufferers part deux. Kate and William are jealous. 
Drop $7,599 and you too can live in this real life fairytale.

And this is for the Royal Inferiority Complex Sufferer's canine. Did you know they have Prozac for dogs now? Probably because most dogs are depressed that their slumber isn't as chic as this.  

The only place koi ponds are acceptable is in a hibachi grill. If chicken fried rice isn't involved, then koi pond art shouldn't be either.






Another wonderful description: "This handsome skull table clock is detailed in molded resin with a faux-wood finish, having it take on the real-life appearance of aged oak." Calling this skull clock "handsome" is like calling a strip bar a "gentlemen's club." 


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