A few years ago, I would have been the first photo, where my self-description was a far cry from my actual reflection in the mirror. I can remember being in the dressing room at department stores and breaking down in tears because I was so ashamed of how I looked. Yet, the reason I was shopping in the first place was to buy clothes in an attempt to feel better about myself by camouflaging what was underneath the clothing.
A few days ago, I was chatting with my friend, Genny, about the Dove Beauty Sketches video. We both said that our current description of ourselves would have been accurate but no positive language would have been involved. For example, I think mine would have gone something like this:
I have dark brown, almond shape eyes. Angular eyebrows. Full, dark brown hair. An oval face.
You see, none of it is hateful but none of it is loving either. At first, I didn't see a problem with that. I was just stating the facts of my appearance. Genny told me that she sent the video to a few girlfriends. Most responded how you would assume, "Wow, I really needed that," etc, etc.
But one watched it and replied, "Damn, I am hot. I love my body."
We both thought that was a fairly awkward response and hoped that her other friends cc'd on the email weren't too weirded out by that one girl. But as we continued chatting, it was then I realized that she was the one who actually got it.
If I was to describe one of you, I know that the language would be filled with beauty, praise, and love. Words like, gorgeous, pretty, feminine, sexy, lovely, etc. Yet, I would never say that about myself because that's being vain and arrogant. Then it hit me. This mission of personal self-acceptance that I've been on for years, literally since elementary school, will never change unless I'm willing to not just tell the facts about myself like I'm a lab rat being studied, but to genuinely love myself.
Your body isn't facts. It's a beautiful, flawless creation. Don't be afraid to celebrate it.
Genny told me that the friend who had given her body such high praise had once been in the same boat as us. The way that she got out of it was by standing in front of the mirror. Naked. And telling herself how beautiful she was. She would literally go from head to toe, covering every inch of herself in positive thought. My initial thought. Hell no. Way too awkward. And relatively weird.
Baby steps. I started by thinking about myself and being thankful for each part of my body. Then I transitioned to looking in the mirror (clothes on) and saying what I loved about every inch of me.
The big breakthrough came yesterday. Two of my girlfriends took me to the Four Seasons for a spa day to celebrate my birthday. After our massages we went to the steam room. I'm looking at each of us with our own unique shapes. One is tall and long with a slim, straight body. One is average height with very defined muscles and an athletic build. And I have beautiful, feminine curves. And in the past, that would have been a nice way for me to say, slightly overweight.
But this time, I looked around and loved what I had, cellulite and all. It is beautiful. It is me. And I love it. Love who you are today. Tell your body (as weird as it sounds) why you love it and how thankful you are for your body, and yours alone. As it is right now. Don't love it once you reach your goal weight. Love it today. Eventually, it won't be a practice, it will be truth.
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